Guest post: Non-verbally speaking

Babies may not speak but they can communicate.

Those with children already know this. They hear their children loud and clear, at 2 in the afternoon and 2 in the morning. Every morning.

But despite a child’s mostly one-sided attempts at vocalization, parents can do various things to empathise with and understand their children, according to Annie Kirschenmann, M.S., BC-DMT, NCC, Certified Corporate Business Coach, Certified NLP Practitioner.

Many parents already do these tips… hugs, for example, ahhh I can’t get ENOUGH of them. But she has other good and F.U.N.! advice too. See below.

So — have you been practicing?

In my last blog (I See You See Me), I suggested you practice noticing your own non-verbal behavior and really watch how your child responses to it, in movement, sound and facial expressions. 

How did that go and what did you notice?  Did you get a taste of some of the delicious richness this awareness adds to your relationship with your child?  Hopefully, this was an insightful and exciting experience for you.

Now what?

Glad you asked   Now that you are becoming aware of it, here are a few tips to help you enhance this powerful, non-language communication with your child – to really get into “non-verbally speaking.”  Some of these you may be doing instinctively already:

• Do your best to “match” or mirror your baby’s movements with your own body.  If she is flapping her arms up and down – do that with her.  If he is crawling across the floor, get down on your hands and knees and crawl right beside him.  It is a very simple, yet powerful way to communicate, “I see you and understand you.”
• When your baby makes sounds, see if you can make the same sound in response.  Play with responding to her sound and then expanding it just a little bit, encouraging her to reply by matching your sound.

He is in the process of developing a body image; learning about his body, where his body ends and yours begins.  Try these simple non-verbal actions to help him out with this exploration: 

• a firm and gentle, loving hug (LOTS of those!);
• a mild massage;
• wrap his body or part of his body (always keep his head free and uncovered) in a soft, stretchy material his can push against and that you can easily wrap and unwrap, in a kind of game
• put the palms of your hands against the palms of her little hands and playfully push, encouraging her to push back
• Peak-a-boo with a twist – show her one of her favorite movements every time you appear and say “boo!”
• Mirror his facial expressions.  There is perhaps no more powerful message of understanding and empathy you can send to your pre-verbal infant.

 

These few, simple activities can and will deepen your relationship with your child, helping her get off to a great start — making this non-verbal phase of development a rich and rewarding period you can treasure forever.

Next time:  “Stress – I Can See You Loud and Clear!”

 

Annie Kirschenmann is a board certified Dance/Movement Therapist and a non-verbal communication expert; a Nationally Certified Counselor; a Certified Corporate Business Coach; and a Certified NLP Practitioner. She holds her M.S. from Hunter College (NY) and her BA from Macalester College (St. Paul).  Annie’s award winning master’s thesis is on the therapeutic benefits of smiling, laughter and humor.  She is the owner and lead coach/consultant for A.K. Coach and Company (AKACoachAndCompany.com).  She can be reached by email at:  Annie@AKACoachAndCompany.com